It has always been natural to see Strawberry and Ooffa as being separate. They’re a boy and a girl for a start! It is easier for others to acknowledge my twins as separate people too. However, it was different in the baby days, the attention from others was centered around that there were two babies in one pram, two nappy changes, two feeding, two needing held, identity didn’t come into it.
But now they are toddlers, every now and again the pet peeve of all twin mummy’s raises its ugly head: Comparing Twins.
Who was born first? Why is one walking and not the other? Why is one shy? Why …? The list goes on.
I know people mean well and curiosity is often the desire behind the question but having a total stranger accost you in the middle of the supermarket is not okay! Why do people want to know? What conclusion will you be drawing from my answers? Why is comparing them important?
I am lucky (in a sense) that I have a boy and a girl. I feel for my friends that have boy twins only or girl twins only. Not only do they have the questions from well meaning strangers but they probably have their own questions as to raising their children to be separate individuals.
I think parents of twins recognise the importance of treating their twosome as two separate people right from the start.
My friend with twin boys always ensures one boy is dressed in dark colours the other in light colours. Being able to tell them apart allows you address the child by their name and see their individuality.
My other friend painted nail polish on a pinky of one of her boys to identify who was who.
· Separate birthday cakes.
· A few special toys that belong only to that child.
· One-on-one time separate from the other child.
· Take separate photos as well as photos together.
· Reward individual achievements.
· Compare against their peer group not with each other.
· Encourage separate friendships and try to have separate Play dates.
· Encourage their individual interests.
Having twins is really a unique and special circumstance to be a part of. I look forward to the years ahead and the wonderful people they are to become! What are your tips for helping your twins develop as individuals?